The Great debate

Ok, so this came upon my mind today, whilst trying (and failing) to convince W that napping in the car is THE way to go, and that all the coolest kids nap in the car...

So we are driving along, W is playing with his dinosaurs in the backseat, and I am doing an excellent job of that most wonderful of feminine gifts, multi-tasking. I'm driving, listening to the radio, and thinking about the philosophy "Everything happens for a reason"

I was thinking back over times of trouble and stress in my life, and thinking "man, I have lived some life!" Then I got to thinking about how, if someone else were living my life, it would be quite easy for them to draw the conclusion that perhaps it was all to hard, and that maybe there wasn't a heck of a lot of point to it.

That made me feel grateful, for a lot of things, but mostly for having been raised in a way which taught me some powerful and sustaining truths, which I truly believe have shaped who I am, and how I view the world.

These are the all prevailing thoughts which are what fly through my head in the not so great times;

From Nana Lucas;
1;If God wants your attention, he drops a pebble. If you ignore the pebble, he drops a rock...Don't wait to get hit by a piano.
2; If no-one ever broke a plate, the crockery plant would go out of business.
3; Just by living her life in such a dignified way, but at the same time, not being all "holier than thou", she taught me a lot about the difference between being a woman and being a lady.

From Nana Paige;
1; There is room in every one's life for a little wallowing- channeling your inner Eeyore every now and then ain't such a bad thing.
2; You really do feel better about yourself and your place in the world when you give something back.
3; It is possible to cure the world of it's problems, provided you do so in collaboration with your best friend/s and over a cup of tea.

From my Dad;
1; God will provide
2; God loves a tryer
3; God isn't some puppet master, up there pulling strings...Life is what YOU make it.

From my Mum;
1; When you love your kids, it never leaves them, even when you do...When she died, it was right on the back of that horrible teen angst, selfish stage...
Even though I felt like I hadn't liked her for a really long time, there was a deep, abiding love there. Even through all the trouble we had, and the harshness, there was a foundation of love, which I don't think anything could have changed. I only pray I'm establishing as strong a bond with W.
2; It's never a good idea to store up hurt and anger and sadness...They're a poison, and eventually those feelings will find a way out...either with you, or in spite of you.
3; You only get one shot...Each day you're here, you are writing in the book of other people's lives, you're building memories, and creating a legacy for yourself. As cliched as it might be, I know that, because of the circumstances of her life, I live mine differently. I take risks, and holidays! I stop cleaning to snuggle my son. There is always time for one more story, and one more song.

I know that nothing will ever come before my child, and my time with him. The world of adults- work, socialising, holidays, fast cars etc will always be there...my baby will be 3 1/2 for the blink of an eye. Plenty of days are coming when he will be embarrassed to be seen with me...I have no wish to throw away these precious days when I am the centre of his world. I cherish so much the honour and responsibility I have. It honestly (for all it's drama filled blogs) is the greatest, scariest, most fulfilling thing I have ever done...and something I don't think I'd be anywhere near as passionate about if it weren't for the lessons taught by my mum's passing.

Wow, that's a lot! (hey, it was a long drive, and he NEEDED a nap!) I guess my point is that, I absolutely believe that all the good, bad and plain ugly experiences of my life so far have taught me one over-riding lesson.

It's worth holding on through the times of crushing pain, self doubt and just plain hurt. Those are the times that teach you who you really are, what is important, and who you can count on.

They cement your relationships, and erode the ones that weren't worth it anyway. Those are the times that change you for the better. Those are the times that make you sound wise and impressive when you write a blog : ) Let me know how I did!