Reconcilling

Sometimes I find it hard to recognise all the parts of myself.

Can the person who watches "living with refugees" and thinks "my God, sometimes I am so bloody caught up in superficial crap" really be the same person who buys the liquid soap which smells like milk and honey, even though it costs more, just because it smells nice?

The person who watched those little children cry and die from being hungry, thinks that anyone who would fritter precious cents away on "luxury" soap is just totally missing the point, and must therefore be some sort of horrible person.

The person who writes in her blog about American conglomerates taking over the worlds oldest and wisest cultures is also the same person who would quite possibly consider signing her child up for such a course, should one become available.

Am I the only one who thinks like this?

PS; I am that pathetic! I just ran spell check and "woohoo'd" when no mis-spellings were found! Shouldn't I not care about that stuff if I'm "grown up" and "worldly" enough to post these sorts of rhetorical questions?

Organ Donation

Just going on the record, not to say what others should do, but to inform everyone what our choices as a family are, in case we are unable to communicate them for ourselves.

Both Stephane and I have agreed on our licences that we want to donate our "everything"...I am also registered to donate bone marrow, as well as being listed on the Australian Donor Registry.

If you want to know more, click here

We have also made the choice that, should anything happen to W, we will donate his organs too.

At the very least, discuss this with your family and friends, so that everyone knows, and hopefully honours, your wishes.

SPIDER!

Hands up who knows what this creepy thing is? I knew as soon as I saw it CRAWL OFF MY TOWEL AND PAST MY TOE that it was a red back! Eeeeep!

All my childhood I remember hearing "watch out for redbacks and funnel webs." I used to laugh at newbies to Australia, especially the English, when they would freak out about living in a country with such dangerous animals. I always thought you had to live somewhere really "bush" to come across one...Now I have proof that you don't.

We caught HER, so she could be milked, but Poisons Info said they don't do that anymore...RIP little missy! She got sprayed as soon as I hung up the phone. I was seriously surprised at how red the "red" stripe is...It doesn't really show in the photo, but it is quite bright.

And no Mother S, this is not a good enough reason to move from Adelaide ;o)

Yay! Joey Jo Jo

Just had a splendorous visit with my great friend Joey! It was so nice to see her, catch up on new stuff, reminisce on old stuff, and most of all, W had someone else to hang with! He now loves "auntie Jo"...the first thing he said when he woke up this morning was "auntie Jo is gone...i miss her :( "

Some pics of our time together...come to Adelaide, and all this hilarity could be yours!

My Top 5's

My top 5 favourite "junk" foods;
1. Peanut Butter M & M's
2. Hawaiian Pizza
3. Lindt Balls
4. HOT chips!
5. Reese's PB cups

My top 5 ways to spend my day;
1. Without a pre schooler ( *grin*)
2. Having a massage/pedicure/spa treatment
3. With girlfriends...I miss having girl friends to chat with!
4. Shopping, provided I have cash to splash!
5. Scrapbooking /playing Sims ( I go through stages)

My top 5 favourite children's books;
1. Anything by Lynley Dodd
2. The ... for a day series by DK books
3. Charlotte's Web
4. Olivia
5. The Velveteen Rabbit

My top 5 places I'd like to visit;
1. Gallipoli
2. Canada
3. US
4. Maldives
5. Bora Bora

The hills are alive...

with the sounds of whinging ! Impromptu hikes and 3 1/2 year olds don't mix!

We went to waterfall gully to look at the waterfall (duh!) , and then decided that, since the weather was not too hot, and because we had no plans, that we might hike to Mt Lofty, which was only 4 k away...

Hahahaha! We made it to "Eagle on the Hill", W rode most of the way on our hips and backs, though he did walk some.

Here's the pretty pictures;

Before and After

Before kids, we stayed in places like the one shown below.

We ate hot meals, we shared our bed, but only with each other. We did spontaneous things, like deciding to go and see a movie,and actually going sometime in the next month. We hardly ever got sick. We slept in on weekends. We had no idea which Wiggle wore which colour skivvy, and we defiantly didn't know all the words to "bob the builder". We couldn't have cared less about a piece of muslin and it's location. We had disposable incomes, and we disposed of them in such fun ways!

But we also never knew how sweet "I love you" could be, the pain of watching your child cry and not being able to do a thing, and how gut wrenching it is when some other kid won't be kind to yours...so many lessons we've learnt, and in such a short time!

Look at the little children! Isn't it sweet that they aren't with their parents, actually learning about life through living, but rather in some elite social greenhouse, learning the great Gordan Gecko lessons, such as "Greed is Good" and "Capitalism and Exploitation are the way of the future!"

Bonus points go to the kid who does a presentation with diagram! Lord forbid she should learn confidence by asking another child to play on the playground, or through talking to the shop keeper while out doing errands with Mum...no, far better that she is in a homogenised, diversification free environment, where there is no room for individual thought...

I am also just tickled pink that an American company is teaching Chinese kids all about greed...because the "natives" haven't known how to do anything, for thousands of years...It's not like they are an ancient civilisation, who's ideas on child rearing, economics and health are now not only being recognised, but actively embraced by those of us here in the western world.

*sigh* Where are we going, and why are we all in this hand-basket?

Merry Christmas

Christmas by Michael Leunig

I see a twinkle in your eye.

So this shall be my Christmas star, and I will travel to your heart:

The manger where the real things are.

And I will find a mother there

who holds you gently to her breast;

a father who protects your peace;

and by those things you shall be blessed.

And you will always be re-born;

and I will always see the star

and make the journey to your heart:

the manger where the real things are.

May you and yours have a magical Chirstmas, and may 2007 be a year of immense peace and abundance for you. With love and hope, from our family to yours.

Freya, Stephane and Will.

Fat people labels!

Ok, I am fat, so technically within my rights to post this!

Read and discuss...my thoughts to be added later.

link

brown paper packages tied up with string

these are a few of my favuorite things (from this week at any rate)

*WE are in the single digit part of the countdown to christmas

* W is old enough to stay awake and look at the christmas lights when it is actually dark!

*W's christmas concert today...so unbelievably cute!

*A package I sent to a friend in the US finally turned up, and she loved it, and it made her crappy day more bright.

* Po Po and Koung Koung are on their way- reinforcements! Whoot!

*W's new habit of saying "as you know" and "as you can see", which utterly cracks me up.

*A parcel arrived from Mexico via Canada, and much hilarity ensured...Please see photo evidence below *and thanks Kate and Andy!*

Just had to leave the dinner table and post this little W'isim!

W; Actually, I can't eat anymore of this chicken bun...I don't actually like the onion and ginger in it....

Well ex-cuh-hu-huse me...I didn't realise you were chaneling one Gordon Ramsey...

And again I shake my head and ask, who is this kid?

Oh this was a fun read!

And quite timely, given what happened in Woolies today.

W had picked up a "Pirates of the Caribbean" book to read while we were in the queue. Once the lady was done scanning groceries, I told him to go put it back...so he got down and went and put it back.

To do this, he had to move down past the trolley in the queue behind us. He looked up at the trolleys owner, said "Excuse me please" and put the book back. He came back and said "excuse me mummy, I want to go to the tractor now, ok?" and I said "sure buddy" and off he went.

The lady behind said "I wish mine would behave like that!" and the checkout lady said "it's so nice to see a child with manners!".

I said thank you, and then walked away thinking "You didn't see all those times when I called him back and made him ask for things nicely." "You didn't see the death stare and severe talking to he got the first (last, and only) time he said "shut up" to me. His behaviour is a combination of his sweet spirit, and consistency...Like Rachel Hunter told us, it won't happen overnight, but it will happen!"

The Great debate

Ok, so this came upon my mind today, whilst trying (and failing) to convince W that napping in the car is THE way to go, and that all the coolest kids nap in the car...

So we are driving along, W is playing with his dinosaurs in the backseat, and I am doing an excellent job of that most wonderful of feminine gifts, multi-tasking. I'm driving, listening to the radio, and thinking about the philosophy "Everything happens for a reason"

I was thinking back over times of trouble and stress in my life, and thinking "man, I have lived some life!" Then I got to thinking about how, if someone else were living my life, it would be quite easy for them to draw the conclusion that perhaps it was all to hard, and that maybe there wasn't a heck of a lot of point to it.

That made me feel grateful, for a lot of things, but mostly for having been raised in a way which taught me some powerful and sustaining truths, which I truly believe have shaped who I am, and how I view the world.

These are the all prevailing thoughts which are what fly through my head in the not so great times;

From Nana Lucas;
1;If God wants your attention, he drops a pebble. If you ignore the pebble, he drops a rock...Don't wait to get hit by a piano.
2; If no-one ever broke a plate, the crockery plant would go out of business.
3; Just by living her life in such a dignified way, but at the same time, not being all "holier than thou", she taught me a lot about the difference between being a woman and being a lady.

From Nana Paige;
1; There is room in every one's life for a little wallowing- channeling your inner Eeyore every now and then ain't such a bad thing.
2; You really do feel better about yourself and your place in the world when you give something back.
3; It is possible to cure the world of it's problems, provided you do so in collaboration with your best friend/s and over a cup of tea.

From my Dad;
1; God will provide
2; God loves a tryer
3; God isn't some puppet master, up there pulling strings...Life is what YOU make it.

From my Mum;
1; When you love your kids, it never leaves them, even when you do...When she died, it was right on the back of that horrible teen angst, selfish stage...
Even though I felt like I hadn't liked her for a really long time, there was a deep, abiding love there. Even through all the trouble we had, and the harshness, there was a foundation of love, which I don't think anything could have changed. I only pray I'm establishing as strong a bond with W.
2; It's never a good idea to store up hurt and anger and sadness...They're a poison, and eventually those feelings will find a way out...either with you, or in spite of you.
3; You only get one shot...Each day you're here, you are writing in the book of other people's lives, you're building memories, and creating a legacy for yourself. As cliched as it might be, I know that, because of the circumstances of her life, I live mine differently. I take risks, and holidays! I stop cleaning to snuggle my son. There is always time for one more story, and one more song.

I know that nothing will ever come before my child, and my time with him. The world of adults- work, socialising, holidays, fast cars etc will always be there...my baby will be 3 1/2 for the blink of an eye. Plenty of days are coming when he will be embarrassed to be seen with me...I have no wish to throw away these precious days when I am the centre of his world. I cherish so much the honour and responsibility I have. It honestly (for all it's drama filled blogs) is the greatest, scariest, most fulfilling thing I have ever done...and something I don't think I'd be anywhere near as passionate about if it weren't for the lessons taught by my mum's passing.

Wow, that's a lot! (hey, it was a long drive, and he NEEDED a nap!) I guess my point is that, I absolutely believe that all the good, bad and plain ugly experiences of my life so far have taught me one over-riding lesson.

It's worth holding on through the times of crushing pain, self doubt and just plain hurt. Those are the times that teach you who you really are, what is important, and who you can count on.

They cement your relationships, and erode the ones that weren't worth it anyway. Those are the times that change you for the better. Those are the times that make you sound wise and impressive when you write a blog : ) Let me know how I did!

Drama drama drama!

So, having been out of action (no playgroup, no parks, no pre-school) for a week, W itching to get back into "life" as he knows it...only now, we have been sidelined again *sigh*

But more on that later...First my rant!

W, suffering from cabin fever, decided to chanel one, or possibly both, of the Gallagher brothers, and do his best rock star impersonation on Friday morning. The scene; Freya stands at the sink washing up. W plays in the playroom with carefully selected, highly educational and stimulating toys (ok, he had the chopsticks we use when mixing noodles, and he was being a ninja)...

Cue the sound of the backdoor opening, followed by a mysterious, yet somewhat disturbing scrapping sound. Being the negligent mother she is, Freya ignores this, and calls W back inside.

Fast forward 2 hours, and the pair are preparing to leave the house, for W's "back to the real world, 1 hour playtime", with friend T

Freya; What the hell!?! W, what is this on the side of the car?

W; I don't know mummy!

F; DON'T GIVE ME I DON'T KNOW! WHY IS THE (PETROL CAP AND SIDE OF THE) CAR COVERED IN SCRATCHES?

W; I was bored mummy, and I wanted to write "baddies leave this car alone"

F; rants about the stupidity of this notion to W (internally) and externally says " I am very dissapointed that you would do something so silly! What do we write on?"0
W; "paper"

F; "Is the car made of paper?"

W; "no, metal"

F; "Should you have written on the car?"

W; "no"

F; "blah blah blah don't let it happen again" style speech

W and F go back into the house. F gets a cloth, and attempts to buff off scratches...they don't buff, but rather remain on the car, looking somewhat smug...W walks to his playroom, picks up his guitar, smashes it from above his head to the floor, and shouts "ROCK AND ROLL!" before looking at F, seeing the look on her face, and putting himself on the "naughty mat"

The pair then go back outside, enter the car and drive away, arriving a short time later at T's house.

Freya and W exit the car and walk towards T's house...Freya turns back to lock the car, and has a mild heart attack.

F; Oh my gosh! W, what the heck is on the other side of the car?

w; where?

F; Um, there, and there, and there (repeat x 10)

w; *looks nervous* I'm sorry about that mummy.

F; *bangs head into wall and mentally totals up costs for a major buff and re-spray*

In summary, W has decorated every panel of the car, in about 2-5 cm white gouges...Fabo!

So, I put that behind me, kiss W goodbye, go to my appointment, thinking I have had my share of drama for the day.

Return an hour later, pick W up, say goodbye to T's mum, wave etc...Then hear a constant sniffing. Turn around to see my 8 days post -op son sporting a geyser of blood from his nose, which is now all over his face and arms. Get tissues, try and keep him still, wait for it to stop. Get through the box of tissues. Still not stopping. Take off his shirt and use it to catch blood...still not stopping. Hmmmmmm.

Call the baby sitting agency, cancel my job which I am meant to start in two hours. Pick up Steph from bus stop on the way to the hospital (by which time, blood has stopped) Spend a thrilling 2 1/2 hours in ER, then W is admitted for overnight observation.

He finally falls asleep at 11pm, having had such adventures as not being able to find a vein in which to insert IV line, an allergic reaction to numbing cream, and his first ride in a wheelchair. He is woken at 2am for panadol, 4am for obs (during which, in his sleep, he punches a nurse on the nose, and talks about pirates and star wars droids) and 6am, again for panadol, by which time he is up for the day.

*sigh* SO, we are home again, with antibiotics. We are all set for another week of cabin fever. Once again, W will miss all his activities, a birthday party, his turn of taking home the family book, and a lot of other things which are very important to a boy who is 3. I am all set to start rocking in a corner, mumbling things under my breath, and crying into my tea! At least the house will be clean!

Now, to make this a somewhat more cheerful post, random cute shots of the "rudolph" cupcakes we made last week.

Cracked pots

An elderly Chinese woman had two large pots, each hung on the ends of a
pole, which she carried across her neck.

One of the pots had a crack in it while the other pot was perfect and
always delivered a full portion of water, at the end of the long walk
from the stream to the house, the cracked pot arrived only half full.

For a full two years this went on daily, with the woman bringing home only one and
a half pots of water.

Of course, the perfect pot was proud of its accomplishments.
But the poor cracked pot was ashamed of its own
imperfection, and miserable that it could only do half of what it had
been made to do.

After 2 years of what it perceived to be bitter failure, it
spoke to the woman one day by the stream. "I am ashamed of myself,
because this crack in my side causes water to leak out all the way back to your
house."

The old woman smiled, "Did you notice that there are flowers on
your side of the path, but not on the other pot's side?" "That's
because I have always known about your flaw, so I planted flower seeds on your
side of the path, and every day while we walk back, you water them.

For two years I have been able to pick these beautiful flowers to decorate the
table. Without you being just the way you are, there would not be this
beauty to grace the house."

Each of us has our own unique flaw. But it's the cracks and flaws we each have that make our lives together so very interesting and rewarding.

You've just got to take each person for what they are and look for the
good in them.

Hospital yeah yeah!

W's first trip to hospital this week...Thankfully all went well (aside from one slightly bitchy anesthetist, who got my hackles up- patronising cow) and W's reaction to having an IV, and coming round from anesthetic (not pretty).

If he were any more fit, he'd be dangerous. Now the fun part begins- trying to keep him "quiet" and "rested" for the next week! He's off school, and contact should be restricted to family members only for the next week...so please just excuse me as I go quietly insane in the corner- no playgroup, no pre-school, no parks, no shopping AAAAHHHHHH!

Please enjoy our photo montage of what we are calling "The Hospital Experience"

W and daddy, upon arriving in day suite W in the "holding zone", just prior to Op

Back again! Op is all done, W is FINALLY calm! W showing off his "machine

"W, it's time to turn off the TV"(which has cable, and thusly channels you have never seen before!) But hey...we get to go home in the morning!

And finally...here is what a boy who had an operation 2 days ago looks like...

Spidey and Supes...kicking the butt of illnesses everywhere! :)

Seen and Heard

*whinge* It isn't warm, it's cold... and even colder on my little body! (about his bath)

*when listening to Wiggles (song ends with "What do you dream about?) Nothing Greg, nothing at all!

* I need to do a wee, and I wouldn't mind some privacy!

* It's not funny! Oh for pete's sake!

* Do you know Mummy, when I was your age, I was lots more sensible!]

* Oh, I like this shirt! Is it Italian? (shirt features in photo above)

*(after having his hair cut, the barber put some gel in his hair and spiked it up a bit); Hey! What's this funky hair? I wanted flat hair I said! (followed by a flattening of aforementioned hair)

W has also developed a little snazzy dance, as a result of getting a toy which plays "I like to move it move it" I am trying to download it somewhere so you can all see, as it's quite funny.

Lest we Forget

For The Fallen

With proud thanksgiving, a mother for her children,
England mourns for her dead across the sea.
Flesh of her flesh they were, spirit of her spirit,
Fallen in the cause of the free.


Solemn the drums thrill; Death august and royal
Sings sorrow up into immortal spheres,
There is music in the midst of desolation
And a glory that shines upon our tears.


They went with songs to the battle, they were young,
Straight of limb, true of eye, steady and aglow.
They were staunch to the end against odds uncounted;
They fell with their faces to the foe.


They shall grow not old, as we that are left grow old:
Age shall not weary them, nor the years contemn.
At the going down of the sun and in the morning
We will remember them.


They mingle not with their laughing comrades again;
They sit no more at familiar tables of home;
They have no lot in our labour of the day-time;
They sleep beyond England's foam.


But where our desires are and our hopes profound,
Felt as a well-spring that is hidden from sight,
To the innermost heart of their own land they are known
As the stars are known to the Night;


As the stars that shall be bright when we are dust,
Moving in marches upon the heavenly plain;
As the stars that are starry in the time of our darkness,
To the end, to the end, they remain.

Laurence Binyon

We took W to the Remembrance Day Service, which was held at the war memorial in the city. I have never been more proud of his behaviour.

We went the day before to see where it would be. We talked a lot about the symbols and traditions (poppies, the last post, 1 minute silence), and how there would be lots of returned soldiers there, who were remembering their friends.

When we arrived and the ceremony hadn't started, we walked through the field of remembrance, and looked at all the crosses. We looked at the medals of returned soldiers, and watched the marching band prepare.

Once the ceremony got started, W was very solemn, taking it all in. When people were laying wreaths, he listened to the music, and said "That's lovely music, they're playing the music "sad" because of all the soldiers who didn't come home."

We listened to the ode of remembrance, and then we heard the last post (I'm fine until they play the first note, and then the tears start). At the conclusion of the ceremony, we all sang the national anthem. W got it word perfect, and stood very patriotically too, much to the amazement of the Canadian tourists next to us.

Giftedness

My hot button topic for this week! I am 100% undecided about where I sit on this issue...I have been reading about this, and thinking about it throughout the week.

At present, I am looking at schools for W. His teachers thus far are telling me that he is "smarter than the average bear" (he don't get that from me, that's for sure, must be his Asian genes!), and the Monty teachers have suggested getting him tested prior to him starting school, so that we have a better idea of where we are at.

I am so torn on this issue. As a teacher, I look at some of the things he does, and think "meh, that's a little special, but you aren't the next Einstein",but as a mum, I look at him and think "You are the most splendiferous scholar who ever drew breath! Huzzah for you, my little prodigy."

I live in perpetual fear of being one of "those" parents...The ones who turn up on the first day and demand a diversified program, which will stimulate and challenge little Tarquin's every need, fearing that he may *gasp* spend more than 2 seconds un-occupied.

The flip side is the very real parental fear that he won't get the attention he needs, that he wont be challenged, and that he will become bored and switch off from school.

I literally lie awake at night, tossing and turning over this, projecting into the future...What if I make a poor choice for him? He'll never learn to read, he'll drop out at 15, and take up an apprenticeship in a mechanics workshop in *insert undesirable suburb here* ... from there he'll get involved in a car re-birthing racket, and then he'll go to jail and turn to other men for comfort ! He'll get tattoos and the needle will be infected, and he'll catch HIV and die young and alone, AND IT"S ALL MY FAULT! If only I had chosen school A, where all the children go on to work with the UN, and make significant contributions to society!

OK, so that may be a touch dramatic, but who among us isn't nursing some scar from childhood...body image, friendships, school issues...ARGH! This is what they meant when they said once the kids are here, you never stop worrying.

I found this article/blog entry, which really made me think...There is a college down the road, where children can start tuition at 4 1/2. Are those parents pushy? Are they trying too hard to give their child an "artificial edge"? Or are those of us who aren't enrolling our kids not giving them every chance they could have?

At the moment, my thinking is this; W hangs out at Montessori, which he adores, and would be going to in any case. We sign him up to *school down the road*, which runs the IB program, which I like, because it teaches kids HOW to think, not WHAT to think, as well as offering a great deal of extra curricular stuff, and the uniform colours look nice on W (a huge factor in any school choice). So he goes there and if all isn't wonderful, I start looking again. Simple huh? URGH!